Text red disc (10-6)


When I immediately make the decision to die, do I really die or am I surprised? I’m actually already surprised at myself, because I feel that death is my own decision.
Apparently, it is the case that when I am so close to death, the abstraction of the concrete is suddenly tangible – and can be reasoned. If I had known that matter had only been the material for the creative process, what would my life have been like? Funny, actually, that I’ve never made a connection between material and matter.

Material depicts the action taken from the trigger, while my gut always said the matter was absolute and static.
That absolutism, I am now rid of that, but why?
Now that time is running out, I realize that time no longer plays a role and actually never has. Time only plays a role in the recognition period in which matter is formed in the so-called real world. Matter and time are equal. Strangely enough I don’t feel aging, although my body is almost worn out, through all kinds of new insights I am experiencing a growth that I have never known. My body is time and time is matter. My surprise at my own death decision alienates me from my surroundings and from myself. Without fear I look around me at the alienating image of the environment where my life took place and in which I felt at home.

Is it because of this that people, who have had horrific experiences, no longer find a place to go on?
Such experiences are as unimaginable as the step to death; however, the symbolic order within which the experience has taken place remains.

With spatial insight, you can create a picture of how someone feels torn between the concrete world and the abstract world that is experienced.
Only through recognition via concrete thinking can it be stated that horrific experiences do arise from concrete thinking, but have absolutely nothing to do with it in terms of abstraction. The world around me does not recognize my trauma.


But I’m alive!
I need to communicate and interact with others. Only by step do I have to walk the road to my fear of the concrete world from my unimaginable spatial thinking.
It is strange that my fear of death has disappeared, my fear of concrete thinking within the symbolic order has taken its place.
My emotions in the concrete world are the meaning of the wish to die.
In order to be able to communicate, I have to let my environment know from my abstract thinking that by accepting the process-based life there can also be a gradual transition to a creative way of life where you don’t have to incur horrors.
My new fear is my understanding of misunderstanding.
Here it is! A double interpretation!
Only through a gradual process of recognition can the concrete world learn to fathom that all fear of – and of the ego – is the origin of all horrors on Earth.
My double interpretation, my understanding for the actions in the concrete world so incomprehensible to me now, is called unconditional love.


If my experience of the unimaginable cannot be imitated, felt or copied, then it must have been a moment of creation.

In order to experience the letting go of the existing, you could take an action of insanity and watch the process in anticipation.
I can remember one story. It was about a man who used to go fishing every Saturday to catch fish. A clearly defined goal, accompanied by an appropriate action. His name was John and he could imagine many things, except that a little way up the canal, along the canal, some strangers were fishing with no-hook rods.
That was a waste of time!
But then again, there wasn’t one fisherman with deviant behaviour… there were six!
“The majority is right!” once again determined the thinking of our John.
The purpose of the “hook-less” was to experience the sense of release-from-the-goal, and get into meditative condition through this nonsensical action.
Creativity is always nonsensical, but spatial thinking reflects out of nonsense.
In any case, John got a push to think about: habit, the reason for …, expectations and time. “Apparently, there is another world,” said John to himself, after putting away his fishing tackle and putting the perch-like fish back in the canal.


A:  No goals, just creativity! 

B:  but you just said that creativity is nonsensical… (does not serve purpose) 

A:  That’s right! 

B:  But then it becomes a mess, a big mess. 

A:  It’s already a mess, a big mess.

B:  Why? 

A:  The world is on fire and your thesis is that order and structure are the most important?

B:  But if we were to free ourselves from all norms and values … that’s not possible, isn’t it? 

A:  It is not our norms and values, they are structures and rules created by power mechanisms that stand in the way of living a free life. 

B:  But who came up with those rules? 

A:  You! 

B:  But I had good intentions, I don’t want a war at all. 

A:  Oh no? 

B:  Absolutely not! 

A:  Absolutely? 

B:  Absolutely! 

A:  Do you know what ‘absolute’ means? 

B:  Do you want a description? 

A:  Just try… 

B:  Well…here then. Absolutely means: in any case, with the emphasis on ‘any’! 

A:  …. So you want war, right? 

B:  Do you mean that my absolutism (despite my good intentions) produces norms and rules that make us believe that the truth exists and later bother us because everything is constantly changing? 


Imitation stems from a lack of understanding that results in ‘actual’ do not exist and that everything ‘actually’ is a process of change.
Fashion, for example, is a commercial institution that knows how to make use of people’s eagerness for something new on the one hand, and the accompanying urges to copy on the other. These copying urges can be explained as fear reactions, but the eagerness for something new gives the impression that people crave change after all.

What can be concluded from this is that people prefer to change the form rather than the content. One would rather change the norm than the value. Adjustment of a standard or rule is called repetition. Apparently, people feel that values cannot be copied.
Idealizing one or two “traits” in someone else and the need to make them powerful also gets in the way of self-acceptance.
Our individuality and our ego are at odds with each other, but also complement each other. Since we cannot recognize our originality, we can never undertake a targeted search for it. The tour is only a reason to experience a creative process. We call this process detachment.
Even all meditation and courses of a spiritual nature, are only grounds for detaching from who you think you are.
Acceptance of the new self-image also allows acceptance of everyone else.